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How I Reflect Upon Year 2021 with Gratitude?

Kamilah MS

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Let’s acknowledge some of the events that have happened in the year 2021 in their entirety the good, the bad, the not so good. Although I do not see anything as good or bad because, in my lens, I look at things as what’s working and what’s not working. It is through looking from this angle, I get to dissect and see the root cause or catalyst for my results or lack of. Please read till the end and I will share my little secret as to how I continue to have inner peace.

Relationship

What’s been working this year is boundaries. I communicated my boundaries, I communicated my goals and desire and passion to people around me particularly to my spouse, my children, siblings and sometimes my in-laws. Through communicating this, I rallied their support and partnership and avoid misunderstandings too.

What did not work was my communication with some of my collaborative partners that are new to me. I did not set out my expectations to them so it is not fair for them too and it gets frustrating for me. Through this realisation and awareness, I can course correct and moving forward, I can communicate my expectation when it comes to collaborations and partnerships.

Letting go of blame and taking full ownership and responsibility is very important when working with another person or to make a win-win relationship. Most people do not understand what it means to take on full ownership and responsibility because it sounds heavy, like a burden and it was as if we took in all the blame. In personal development, it is far from it. It means regaining control and power by looking at what is it that you can take charge of because blaming others means you are in a victim mindset mode. Of course, some behaviours are not acceptable, we know we cannot force a change unto others and yet we are so fixated on the things we have no control over.

Business

I am a full-time mother and a full-time coach and Reiki Master and somehow, I can make things work out thanks to the practice of ongoing communication and rallying support from those closest to me. Without the right environment, I may not be able to accomplish new milestones in my business such as a new venue, revamped site, increased revenue and more! It might still be a possibility and it could probably look like me finding different means to manage family and work.

Everything is possible if we set our minds to it.

Setbacks, I do hope that Kamilah MS will attract even diverse clients from different cultures. I attract mostly the Muslim community and I am truly blessed and delighted to have them as my clients too because in my previous careers, back then, it was rare to see the involvement or participation from those in my community especially in the field of finance, personal development and wellness, its a delightful development.

I don the hijab and I am a Muslim. Someone close to me had said that I lost the appeal to certain populations simply from how I dressed.

I am challenging this notion that I am being stereotyped for the cloth on my head because as human beings it is normal to want to be around people we are comfortable or familiar with.

The world is evolving too and messages of inclusivity are widespread now and I advocate for inclusivity too. I am grateful that I get the opportunity to also coach international clients with one of the biggest coaching companies in Australia.

Parenting

I’ve been very consistent in parenting my children in ways that they remain independent with school, studies and wellbeing (mind, body and soul). I can proudly say that I got doting teenagers who seemed shy by many yet they are resilient and courageous when it comes to the right moment such as standing up for others, helping a family member and friends and being respectful to their teachers and more. I define my parenting success as the ability to encourage independence, consistency, responsibility and a sense of pride and duty to self and others. A tangible acknowledgement is of course their academic performance without much guidance and not a single cent spent on tuition.

I am also happy that I get to work while raising my twin toddlers without the need to always send them away from me or hire a maid or send them to preschool.

I am also happy that I’ve continued to co-parent peacefully my two older boys with my ex-husband for almost 10 years now and we remain friends too and that my ex is also my family’s financial consultant. My boys are blessed with two doting fathers.

If you are a parent and you have your definition of what it means to be a successful parent then that definition is yours to keep, don’t let any parents tell you any lesser as long as you do not cause harm to your child.

Home Environment

When it comes to accommodation, I am grateful that my family has gotten a space that we can call home. It was a huge transition for us in the first quarter of this year and I am so happy that I can accommodate my clients too in my personal space and I can create a conducive environment to raise my family and create abundance too. I take pride and I am truly grateful that my path had allowed me to live in private properties in a prime location in Singapore, currently still owning one and yet, I am sticking it out with my husband who is starting his career from scratch and rebuilding our matrimonial home together. This may sound like I am humble bragging, having experienced living in those properties, I define home as not so much the value of the property, it is what it represents for the family so we deliberately make a decision to just start from basic as a family and this means that my children have four homes to choose from including my in-law’s. I can also live in a tent too although that would not be ideal with the kids. 😛

Income

Five years ago, I know this is way before 2021, I am sharing so that some of you who don’t know me would get some context to this share. So five years ago, I quit my job and before quitting my job, I took three years of sabbatical to reflect on my life and to focus on my well-being after being diagnosed with adjustment disorder (this affected my previous marriages on top of suffering from caregiver’s burnout) and after I have healed and experienced profound inner peace, I met my husband. Since I got married to him, I’ve been a housewife and got pregnant with my twins, then only in 2019, I decided to rebuild my career and regain my spending power as a life coach and a Reiki Master.

Two decades of work experience made me realise my strengths and passion and decided to set up a business of empowering others through a holistic approach to address different areas in my client’s life, I am confident because I have had a track record in being able to make a real difference in people’s lives throughout my past careers. I also feel secure because until this day, I have job offers some are tempting and offered to pay me well too. I declined all of them just to stay in this lane because it gives me a sense of purpose and meaning to be able to earn through means that define my values and purpose in my life, especially my inner peace. This was what I meant when I shared that we deliberately chose to start from scratch as a family.

Health

I started my metabolic health journey with coach Su Lee several years ago, a programme that we extend to our members and clients, feel free to let me know if you are interested to find out more. Since then I’ve been able to achieve a level of health that restored my energy, focus and overall health. With knowledge coupled with self-mastery, it’s helped me maintain this level of health. There is a lot of improvement to be done in the area of exercise and I will be organising monthly nature walks or fitness programmes with the K Community, why not join us?

Conclusion

These are all my disclosures and you may or may not be able to relate to them because we are all unique individuals. I don’t need to share with my subscribers or readers, I chose to share and risk-sharing it to some who may be judgemental about my past, because, this sharing might inspire some of you to see that no matter what, you can stand back up again and achieve what is meaningful for you through self-mastery, consistency, perseverance, setbacks and more importantly inner peace. Remember to define what is important to you because my share may not apply to your situation in life.

I used to declare my new years’ resolution and only this year, it’s not as specific as the last time because I declared that I am open to receiving what shows up for my life especially if it is meant to serve my purpose.

In the past, I declared my new years’ resolutions and I would typically achieve 95% of my list if not all. Yes, I am that odd person who’s able to achieve my new years’ resolutions. There are setbacks to this though especially when they are not meant for you. That’s why if you do not get what you want in life or you lost it all eventually, sometimes it could mean that you are meant to venture a different path, a path that would serve your greatest and highest good. Set your intention, trust and let go and this, to me gives me inner peace.

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