What makes a good parent?
A good parent strives to make decisions in the best interest of the child.
A good parent doesn’t have to be perfect. No one is perfect.
No parent is perfect. No child is perfect either … keeping this in mind is important when we set our expectations. But it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t work towards that goal. Set high standards for ourselves first and then our children second. We serve as a role models to them.
Here are 10 tips on learning effective parenting skills. Many of them are not quick nor easy. And probably no one can do all of them all of the time. But if you can keep working on them, even though you may only do part of these some of the time, you will still be moving in the right direction.
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Be A Good Role Model
Walk the walk. Don’t just tell your child what you want them to do. Show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation1. We are programmed to copy other’s actions to understand them and to incorporate them into our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
So, be the person you want your child to be — respect your child, show them positive behaviour and attitude, have empathy towards your child’s emotion — and your child will follow suit.
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Love Them And Show Them Through Action
Show your love.
There is no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them cannot spoil them2. Only what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love can — things like a material indulgence, leniency, low expectation and over-protection. When these things are given in place of real love, that’s when you’ll have a spoiled child.
Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending time with them and listening to their issues seriously. Showing these acts of love can trigger the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin, opioids and prolactin. These neurochemicals can bring us a deep sense of calm, emotional warmth and contentment, from these the child will develop resilience and not to mention a closer relationship with you.
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Practice Kind And Firm Positive Parenting
Show your love.
There is no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them cannot spoil them2. Only what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love can — things like a material indulgence, leniency, low expectation and over-protection. When these things are given in place of real love, that’s when you’ll have a spoiled child.
Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending time with them and listening to their issues seriously. Showing these acts of love can trigger the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin, opioids and prolactin. These neurochemicals can bring us a deep sense of calm, emotional warmth and contentment, from these the child will develop resilience and not to mention a closer relationship with you.
Using scientific knowledge is by no means a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every child is different. You can and should adjust your parenting strategies accordingly.
For example, besides spanking, there are many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, removing privileges, time-in, etc. You can choose the non-punitive discipline method that works best for your child.
Of course, you can also choose to use “traditional” philosophies (e.g. spanking) and may still get the same outcome temporarily. But why risk the damages some of the sub-par practices may create while there’re well researched, better ones?
Taking these “shortcuts” may require more work on your part in the short term, but can save you lots of time and agony in the long run.
Happy Parenting!
