I got asked this many times.
“Why is it so hard to control my emotions?”
Emotions seem to be the biggest culprit for broken relationships, financial difficulties as well as our health. I struggled with my emotions for so many years since I was a child. Now? Not so much, I experience inner peace the majority of the time.
There are productive and unproductive emotions. Learn to identify which emotions serve you. Emotions are necessary and they can drive us towards our goals too.
Sometimes anger could make us driven to accomplish new things or to get things done. For example, parents being angry at their children for their exam results would result in them wanting to seek external help and support.
Another example, love would result in marriage and raising a family and so on.
You cannot manage emotions. It’s NOT meant for you to manage or control. Emotions will always be there.
I am about to suggest one simple method that is readily available to us and that is our breaths.
Take deep breaths to activate your body to be in a relaxed mode. When we are angry or upset we tend to take shallow breaths which signal pain to our body and we may be reactive to want to get rid of that pain. Our body is wired to protect us from any kind of pain, psychologically or physically.
When we take deep breaths, we are signalling to our brain that we are OK and that there is no incoming danger and that there is no need to act upon it immediately.
Most of us know this already and yet we battle with wanting to react to how we are feeling. It’s a habit and we have accustomed ourselves to reacting to how we feel we are also surrounded by our community who are also doing the same: to react most of the time.
Emotions come and go and they will always become our visitors. Stop resisting these emotions. Welcome them and simply be an onlooker and observe how they feel on your body. When we try to avoid feeling emotions, that’s when we will continue to be in the spiral of reaction and worst, addiction as we try our best to get rid of the emotions and not want to feel them at any cost.
We are human beings and we will continue to feel.
If you find that emotions are always in the way of your relationships, tasks and more and would love to practice self-mastery in welcoming your emotions with open arms, do book a discovery call to explore how I can support you achieve your goals.