Parenting journey is filled with ups and downs it can be challenging and what pulled me through is self-mastery. Yes, self-mastery, the ability to self-regulate while interacting and raising my children in ways that we respect our individual needs, to forgive and to learn from our mistakes.
For years, I’ve been steadfast in my parenting method which is to nurture and educate in ways that would allow my children to be the best version of themselves for their lives and not for their parents.
There’s a difference. If I were to raise my children so that they do things or achieve things for the sake of their parents, it would be a different kind of motivation. As adults, we’ve learnt that when we keep doing things for others, we would eventually wear out and feel demotivated.
I rarely nag, I don’t beat them up and I don’t need to force my opinions on them. Instead, I respect them as fellow human beings and reason things out with them and seek their ideas and opinions too. It allows them to have a sense of self-worth and self-respect too.
I see my oldest son’s recent achievement to go to Junior College and to cut short his learning years towards University as an achievement that demonstrate his capability to make choices and decisions that is aligned to who he said he wanted to be and that in itself is showing respect to self by being true to who he said he is.
As parents, wouldn’t it be nice to spare yourself the stress of trying to make your children do the things you want them to do. Practice ongoing communication and show up for your children by showing them the character you want them to emulate through your actions and not just words.
In my case, I demonstrated what’s it like to stand back up after falling, to be resilient and dare to live the life that matters to my values, to forgive others and to be grateful for everything that we have including our learnings from the mistakes we’ve made.
Even for my 3+ year old toddlers, I’m nurturing them to be independent and to have a sense of self-worth and to be confident to be themselves and making thoughtful decisions along the way.
I coach parents to find their inner peace and to practice self-mastery while raising their children.
Do book a discovery call to find out how I could support you in your parenting journey.