I am feeling generous this morning, read this and share in the comment section, which points would benefit you the most and why?
How can we avoid complications (arguments, misunderstandings, hatred and enmity) in our daily lives?
In our lives, we interact with people such as families, friends, neighbours, colleagues, community or members of our society on a day to day basis.
Because of this, sometimes we find complications inevitable, people around us and we have opinions about one another.
He said this and that, she said this and that, they said this and that, familiar?
Here are some of the tips that I have been adopting for my inner peace and have saved me from being entangled in unnecessary drama or complications.
1. Listen more, talk less.
People in general love to talk than listen. Learn to listen in ways that you can learn about yourself and life even if the person was not talking about you.
To be able to listen actively and allowing others to speak by holding my tongue, took me years to learn and master.
One of the ways that you can practice active listening is to listen for people’s contributions and what the person needs, instead of finding faults.
I no longer consider myself a sociable person anymore because of this interest to speak less than what I was used to.
Furthermore, the tongue and perhaps your typing fingers are like double-edged swords that could make or break a person; use them wisely.
2. Remain at your course.
Focus on your passion and purpose in life and refrain from meddling or interfering with matters that do not add value to your passion and purpose.
Sometimes, it is easy for us to feel offended about what people say to us, so before being triggered about what was being said, ask yourself,
“will what he or she just said, hurt my purpose and passion in life?”
If no, thank them or ignore them and stay focus.
I may sound regimental, consider the fact that there are already way too many people trying to be involved around matters that don’t affect their livelihood or purpose. Take a look at social media, in the comments section and you will know what I mean.
I do comment on social media on issues I can personally relate to or relevant to me. However, my comments are mostly quite the opposite of how people, in general, would react and my comment would often bring about cohesion instead of division.
3. Speak up only when boundaries are crossed.
Creating boundaries is a must. Having boundaries is not necessarily a bad thing. It simply means knowing how much you can take in, give in or tolerate.
- Do you allow all your family and friends to just come knocking at your door around the clock?
- Do you allow people to keep borrowing money from you?
- Do you allow anyone to simply have meals over?
Those are some examples of boundaries to be set. Of course, it differs from one person to another and it is not for me or you to question them.
If people especially friends and family, cross your boundaries, you need to address that immediately.
You need to also give the same respect to the boundaries that your friends and families have created for their lives too especially if they communicated those boundaries to you.
Your boundaries should not be kept secret. People around you need to know your boundaries so they are informed and aware to not cross them.
Complications in life occur when you set no boundaries and that would make it easy for friends and family to walk all over you and dictating how you should live your life.
Sometimes, listening to friends and families could cause an upset to your livelihood, wellbeing and inner peace; be mindful of this.