The fear of what people think of us is one of the fears we have as human beings. It is also connected to our survival instinct to be accepted by a group of people or community.
It makes us feel like we belong or it makes us feel important when we are accepted and approved by others.
Sometimes the need to seek approval would cause us to second guess ourselves and we stop pursuing our dreams and goals just so we do not lose our friends or loved ones and we sometimes do that at the expense of our joy and fulfilment in life. We then play it safe in our lives and settle.
Some of us know that living in the present moment would indeed support us in not worrying. It’s a self-mastery practice and could let us to experience inner peace.
“It’s OK for others to be happy when I sacrifice my happiness.”
I hear this a lot and at the same time, I witness these people suffer in silence, crying every single day and some at the brink of losing their mental health, self-esteem, physical health, reputation and finances and more.
Here’s a general guideline to know when to stop caring about what people think
Stop caring about people’s opinions when it is going to affect your livelihood
For example, you want to excel in your job and provide enough for your family but you fear that others may be jealous of you so you gel in with them, even when they display poor etiquette at work. You gave up your livelihood and personal goals for your financial health just so that you don’t get into trouble with your colleagues in case they might get jealous.
Stop caring what people think when you know that it would affect your mental health
Sometimes people around you may want to make major life decisions for you and you feel obliged or compelled to follow for the sake of getting their approval. Please know that all of us have our unique paths and no man can ever have control over our destiny. Do what fulfils you not for the sake of being rebellious, you want to fulfil your dreams and goals because you know that you will live with yourself for the rest of your lives and those who want to have control over you and your life may not be around if anything goes south when you listen to them. For example, others are making decisions on your finances, who to have a family with, your career and more.
Stop caring about what people think when you need to care for your physical health
Sometimes we may push ourselves to care for others when we need medical attention or rest. We want to give as much as we can to care for others. For example, if your employer is asking you to carry heavy loads even when you are not fit to carry out such activity. It’s OK to decline and put your health and safety first. Stop worrying about your boss or colleagues thinking that you are incompetent. If you know that your job doesn’t require you to carry such loads it’s OK to be firm and speak up. Otherwise, it could cost you a lot more in case of injuries or even death!
There’s more to this, I write this in hopes that we support one another to prioritise our self-care and general well-being. Stop belittling or shaming anyone who are making decisions for their general wellbeing.
Feel free to book a discovery call if you would love to explore how I can support you in addressing matters that are important to you in your life with self-mastery.