Ever experienced bad tantrums, cries and bawling from the little ones? Sick of having to deal with demands for new toys, candies or having to fight for the TV remote control?
Here are the 5 simple steps to rectify their behaviour and if you do it consistently and with patience, you will have the entire years of peace and happiness with your children. This method works for me and many other moms who adopts the same.
#1 Do Not Give in to Their Demands
Easy than it sounds? Yes it is easy. Do NOT give in to their demands. No means No. Children need to learn from a very young age what No means. They need to learn how to deal with a No and move on. This is an important lesson for them when they grow up, they learn that life and people don’t always give in to what they want and they will develop their own coping mechanism to deal with the No.
#2 Explain to Them in a Stern Manner Why it is a NO and Mean What you Say
Never, never, ever lie to your children about policemen or in Singapore we often hear our folks lie about the ‘karung guni’ man. Don’t tell them lie that the policemen, or uncle big tummy, or monsters under the bed and you name your own guilty characters that you’ve ever used to scare the ‘nappy’ out of your children. Instead, explain to them the consequences of spending too much money, or why they have to cut down their sugar intake.
#3 Let Them Throw Their Tantrums
You have to be sure that they are in a safe environment. Pull them to a safety corner and let them cry their tears out. Let them lie on the floor as long as there’s no obvious stains. Believe me be it 10, 20 or 30 minutes however long they take usually less than 30 minutes in my experience, they will tire themselves out. All you need to do is get yourself a drink, and watch over them. Just tell them you are waiting for them to stop crying.
Ignore stares from strangers if this is happening in public. This requires you to be really patient and really courageous to face up with judgmental stares from passersby or you can politely explain to those who may want to “help” on what you are up to. Once your child is done. Give him or her a hug, tell them you love them and this time explain why you did not oblige, in the most loving and caring manner. I highly recommend you to do the explanation while they are still in your embrace.
#4 Share a Consistent Disciplinary Method with Your Spouse or Other Caregivers
You need to share with the people around you why you need their cooperation in being consistent to how you want to discipline your children especially with your other half. Children will tend to take sides and that is unhealthy parenting. Do not give room for children to choose between their father or mother, or perhaps grandmother. Let them know that everyone in the household loves them the same and if you are the main disciplinarian in the house, I highly recommend that everyone is aligned to your children having you as the person they answer to at home. When children gets confused, they tend to shape their own system to adapt to the confusion and they might end up being rebellious.
#5 Do Not be Too Quick to Punish Instead Reward Them Often
Children below the age of 12 especially are still learning. They go through various learning curves to understand cause and effect and consequences of actions. Even us adult still make mistakes and that is the nature of human beings. Learning never stops. Have compassion for your child for having their own learning curve and capability. Some are hyperactive, others meek and shy or some are just obedient and polite but yet, they will still make mistakes and that is NORMAL. If you are quick to punish them for every single mistake they do, they would either get used to it, or they will simply lose confidence to try, or they will hide the mistakes from you and become a compulsive liar. Correct their mistakes and let them know the consequences, remember not to tell lies. Tell them facts with evidence. Reward them with a hug or kisses, or their favorite meal for good conduct. This will make them experience being appreciated and acknowledged and their brain will release endorphin and pleasant memories will be stored in their subconscious mind and they will naturally love doing things that are pleasant for them and for others around them.
More details and tips, look out for my book! Happy trying! Feel free to drop me a comment for any questions.
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