Kamilah MS

How I lead 2019 with ease and grace?


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I am writing this blog because I am amazed with my own accomplishment.

Previous new years resolutions had been like a to do list, bucket list or even a shopping list albeit accomplishing eighty percent and even a hundred percent of the lists in the past new years resolutions, I decided that this year, year 2019, would be really different.

Year 2019, I wanted to experience the art of letting go and detachment to outcomes and expectations, my own and people around me. I wanted to just flow with myself, my emotions, my flaws, my strengths, noticing my reaction or response to people around me and opening my arms wide metaphorically speaking, to what life have in store for me.

With the guide of my own coach, I observe my internal battles, my thoughts and my emotions.

I allow them to flow and find their own channels. If I had to speak up, I spoke up, if I had to pause and take a breather, I paused and took a breather, if I had to let my emotions out I let it out and thankfully they have mostly been emotions of inner joy.

If there were anger and if my anger was not managed on time, I let people around me witness my own anger and how I cooled it down afterwards.

2019 has never been an attempt to be perfect. It is an attempt to just be and just flow intentionally.

Why intentionally? Without intention, I might resist most of what’s being presented to me. When I allow myself to let go and flow, I experience love, gratitude, forgiveness and acceptance.

Truly invaluable.

I could laugh heartily when I needed to, I could vent truthfully when I wanted to and I could express love and appreciation to people I notice and appreciate when it is due and many many more.

This journey and flow of life will continue on for as long as I live and I allow life to delight, surprise or even wake me up to the lessons that I needed to learn.

I now yearn for the vastness of knowledge that’s not confined in books or scriptures to be free and truly live a life as a human being in this borrowed time.

Some of what I shared may not make sense to probably certain people who observe traditions. I invite those people to just feel and let go and you will get to experience this richness of life and being alive.

Embrace your humanity in its entirety.

Keep stumbling to get back up before your time is up. Be an explorer of life.

Here are some of the steps taken to achieve this:

  1. Remove, unfollow and distance yourself from people who are toxic.

I started 2019 by reducing the number of friends I have on Facebook. I removed those who did not inspire me, those who posted energy zapping statuses and those who incessantly post the same thing over and over. I had over thousands in my list and it went down to 400 plus.

I call this social media decluttering. My purpose to get on social media is just to seek inspiration, ideas and of course share my work. Any other matters could be mere distractions and I do not want my time to be taken away being affected by what I read, see or watch.

I have nothing against people who posts what they post on social media. I just wanted to have focus and clarity in my own purpose and my life.

Today I ended up the year having over a thousand in my list and I carefully select who I want to accept in my friends list. If you are the type that loves positivity, soul searching and it’s equivalent. You are most likely in my followed list of people.

  1. I observe my own toxicity.

As much as I like to think that I am not toxic to people, I may be toxic to some people and I tend to observe my own reaction and toxicity towards people I don’t agree with or people that I can’t gel with or people that didn’t share my views.

I would often think twice before responding, reacting or reply to those people. I wanted to make sure that I reply and respond objectively instead of just coming from annoyance and frustration.

I also spend my entire year trying to understand why I repel certain types of people and how could I find humility, empathy, compassion and love towards those type of people?

I can say that I am no longer reactive to these people as I would tend to ignore matters I don’t quite understand, reply with kindness or matter of fact or simply unfollow.

  1. I don’t stress myself out.

I could count a few times this year that I got stressed out. I would immediately try to understand the triggers and how I could best manage stress. As a mother, kids sometimes would drive me up the wall. I make sure that I delegate tasks at home.

My family has shared responsibilities at home and this allow me to not get too worked out with housework, kids and my own mission.

I also spoke up a number of times to communicate what I was unhappy about just to let it out my system and to let my loved ones know.

The last thing we want in our family of six is to have severe communication breakdown and misunderstandings.

I have also been kind and generous to myself that I would not settle for things that I don’t want or I don’t enjoy. I make demands just to keep my sanity in check. If I needed a break I would tell the kids to leave me a lone. If I needed to go out with my friends I would ask my hubby to look after the babies and I don’t try to coach or train people who does not want to help themselves. I simply let them be, including those who are closest to me.

I may sound selfish. Trust me, if you know how to care for your own well-being and state of mind, it will be beneficial for people around you too.

Less nagging, less complaining, less frustration, anger and upsets.

  1. I take one step forward and not backwards.

I have my dreams and goal. I want to run a flourishing inner peace coaching business. It can be overwhelming thinking about the time and money to be spent on building it. I decided that no matter how slow I am, I am not stopping. Here is a quote that I stumbled across and pasted on my study desk when I was fourteen-years-old.

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius.

End of this year, I managed to do a complete re-branding. I registered a new business name and started a sole-proprietorship. I even manage to run a few group coaching sessions and it was successful.

I will continue to move forward with ease and grace without upsetting my family life and personal well-being as these two are my utmost importance.

If I can’t function and my family is in a rut there is no way I could effectively expand my reach to more people.

Always work inwards and project outwards; this is my go-to strategy.

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